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The 45 most bizarre lines from Donald Trump’s wild Montana speech

Posted at 8:59 AM, Oct 19, 2018
and last updated 2018-10-19 13:12:32-04

President Donald Trump’s sprint to the midterm elections continued Thursday night in Montana, where he appeared at a campaign rally to boost Republican Matt Rosendale’s challenge against Democratic Sen. Jon Tester. Trump, as he often is when in front of crowds who rabidly support him, was in full voice — savaging Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren and praising a Montana congressman who pleaded guilty to assaulting a political reporter. (Yes, you read that right.)

Below, the lines worth taking note of from Trump’s speech — in the order he said them.

1. “I love these hangars. I love a hangar. There’s nothing like a hangar. You get out of the plane, you walk over, and we have massive crowds.”

I admit that I would probably buy a T-shirt with the phrase “I love a hangar” on it. Also, away we go!

2. “I wouldn’t want to be the one that walks into your house and says, ‘Give me that gun.’ Right? Nobody has the courage to do that. But Matt is going to protect your Second Amendment.”

Here Trump is relying on one of his oft-repeated falsehoods about those who support gun control measures: That their ultimate goal is confiscation of all guns, including from law-abiding citizens. While there is the occasional radical voice within the gun control movement who suggests something like this, no mainstream Democratic politician has come close to saying it. In fact. both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton expressly rejected the idea that they had any interest in any sort of gun collection program. Trump knows that. He just doesn’t care. Because the prospect of a politician coming to your house and taking your gun is something that works for him politically.

3. “The unemployment rate just fell to the lowest level in over 50 years.”

TRUE!

4. “More Americans are now working than ever before.”

This is also true but with an asterisk. And the asterisk is that there are just more Americans today than there were 50 years ago. So, yes, more are working. Because there are more of them.

5. “That was one of those quickies. I love those states. You know, the polls close. Polls have just closed in the state of Montana. Trump has won Montana.”

The 2016 election ended 710 days ago.

6. “We like the — we like the — it’s just a flowing. They do comma. They don’t do — they do a comma.”

I genuinely have no idea what the hell he is talking about here. But it is flowing. With the comma. You always do the comma.

7. “In a beautiful ceremony at the White House, we proudly swore in the newest member of the United States Supreme Court, Justice Brett Kavanaugh.”

Technically, Kavanuagh was sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice days earlier by Chief Justice John Roberts and retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy. The ceremony Trump is referencing here was purely for show.

8. “And come Election Day, Americans will remember Kavanaugh and they will remember all sorts of other things, because that was a shameful act.”

There’s no question that the Republican base was fired up in the wake of Brett Kavanuagh’s confirmation fight. Trump — and Republicans — are hoping this passion keeps burning for the next 18 days.

9. “This will be an election of Kavanaugh, the caravan, law and order, and common sense.”

Ads — and polling — suggest this is going to be an election about health care.

10. “But a lot of money has been passing to people to come up and try and get to the border by Election Day, because they think that’s a negative for us. Number one, they’re being stopped. And number two, regardless, that’s our issue.”

OK. So the President of the United States is suggesting money is being paid to people traveling in a caravan headed to try to gain entry into the United States for baldly political reasons — which, I think, he is suggesting are that it will make immigration an issue in the election and that Democrats think they win on that issue. I mean, I think? There’s a whole lot of logic jumps happening here.

11. “The one thing, they stick together, but they wanted that caravan and there are those that say that caravan didn’t just happen. It didn’t just happen. A lot of reasons that caravan, 4,000 people.”

Again, Trump signaling — with zero proof — that Democrats are somehow behind the caravan of immigrants moving toward the US.

12. “You have some hardened, bad people coming in.”

“They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.” — Donald Trump, June 2015

13. “Because I have created such an incredible economy, I have created so many jobs. I have made this country with you so great that everybody wants to come in.”

“I.” “I.” “I.”

14. “Do you ever see when the fake news interviews them? And then they try and cut it, but they — they’ll go to a person holding a sign who gets paid by Soros or somebody, right? That’s what happens.”

Another common Trump conspiracy theory: The news seeks out protesters — and these protesters are paid for by George Soros, the liberal billionaire. This is, um, not true.

15. “But did you see the signs? They’re brand-new. They’re beautiful, the black-and-white signs. Everybody has the same size, right from the finest printer in Washington. Do you think the people — those are not signs made in the basement. They were all identical.”

Trump can keep saying that the protests against Kavanuagh were not organic.But that doesn’t make it true.

16. “It’s a whole — hey, look, there’s a lot of rigged things going on in this country, you know about that. There are a lot of rigged things going on.”

These lines are at the heart of Trump’s appeal. The system is rigged against you, normal person, and only Trump will tell you the truth about it. And only Donald Trump will fight for you, the little guy, against these elites who think they are smarter and better than you.

17. “Obstruction. You know, I just walked in, and a big, strong guy grabbed me. And he was almost crying. It happens every time. And many times. And he said, sir, ‘Mr. President, thank you so much for saving our country.'”

Two thoughts here: a) How did Trump go from attacking the Mueller probe for looking into whether he obstructed the investigation to a big guy hugging him? b) Trump says that big, strong guys hug him and thank him for saving America outside every rally. Does this actually happen?

18. “He’s — he runs eight times. ‘Sir, I won five elections.’ I said, well, you got me there. I ran once, and I won one election, but it’s the presidency, right? That’s right.”

Always, always, always the obsessions with how he is better and special.

19. “That’s all the time we need to make America great again. Make America great again. Is that — is that maybe the greatest slogan in the history of runs?”

Many people are saying that. Believe me. Big time.

20. “It is incredible the deep state where they don’t even look at her. Isn’t it incredible?”

To be clear: This is the President of the United States openly alleging there is a group of people embedded within the federal bureaucracy who are operating a conspiracy to protect Hillary Clinton and to get him, somehow.

21. “But I like acid-washing, because that really says it. She acid-washes 33,000, so that nobody can ever find — but they’re around some place. I think that maybe — maybe they’re at the State Department.”

It is true thatClinton deleted roughly 50% (or 33,000) of the emails she sent from her private server as secretary of state. Those emails were determined, by a Clinton lawyer, to be personal — and with no professional relevance. As to the idea that the State Department has them, I have no idea what Trump is talking about.Remember that he asked the Russians to try to find those deleted emailsduring the summer of 2016.

22. “But maybe they’re at the State Department. They could very well be at the Department of Justice, if you can believe that whole deal. But we’re just being quiet. We’re being quiet. Do you know why? There’s been no collusion.”

WHAAAAAAA? So the deleted Clinton emails are either at State or Justice? What proof of this does Trump have? (He doesn’t have any.) Also, why is “collusion” mentioned here???

23. “If I ever called the Russians, the first one to know about it would be the state of Montana, and they wouldn’t be too happy. Can you imagine? Let’s call the Russians? It’s a disgrace.”

The allegation is not that Trump “called” the Russians to help with a state. Its that the Russians, believing that Trump would be a better president for them, ran a campaign of misinformation and interference to try to bring about that result. The intelligence community unanimously affirmed that happened. Trump has never been willing to accept it.

24. “And look at all the women for Trump signs. Here we go again. It’s the same thing. Everyone says, but will he get the women?”

Trump won 41% of women in the 2016 election, according to exit polling. His job approval among women is 28% in the October CNN-SSRS poll.

25. “Everybody else had cloth on their face, and I probably would have, also, cloth that was water, right, wet, on their face. She sat there, hey, what else is new? That’s the way she is.”

In which Trump touts his wife’s toughness because she didn’t put a cloth to her face when smoke entered the cabin of her plane due to a mechanical error. (Everybody was safe.) Remember that for Trump, toughness is everything.

26. “No, Mike is great. We have — we had such great people. We had such great people. And a lot of talented people. And the end result is this is where we are. And we’re doing a lot of good.”

Trump logic flow: Mike Huckabee → great people → talented people → we are where we are → doing a lot of good.

27. “And you walk around in those conditions, you can’t fake it. You can’t fake it. So that’s one good thing. Nobody ever says that any more. That’s one of the — might be one of the best things that’s happened to me in a long time.”

Trump here is touting the fact that people don’t ask whether he wears a toupee any more because he walks around areas devastated by natural disasters and there is a lot of wind blowing. Yes, seriously.

28. “Barbara Walters interviewed me. Do you mind if I play with your hair? Do you remember that? And then numerous people have done that. But that’s OK. But the choice could not be more clear. Democrats produce mobs. Republicans produce jobs.”

He said these two thing back to back. There are no sentences I omitted. Barbara Walters on his hair to Democrats producing mobs.

29. “Well, it’s big sky. I guess there’s a reason for everything, right? No, it’s just — I got out and I’m looking — I’ve been here many times — but I got out and I’m looking — I say, that really is big sky.”

[looks around, wondering if anyone else is hearing this]

30. “Democrats have become the party of crime. It’s true.”

[narrator voice] It’s not.

31. “I said, I’m going to put that in. I’m going to say that when I make speeches. Nobody’s ever challenged it. Maybe they have. Who knows? I have to always say that, because then they’ll say they did actually challenge it, and they’ll put like — then they’ll say he gets a Pinocchio.”

This is some meta-Trump right here. He explains how he told his aides he was going to start calling Democrats the party of crime, then says no one has ever challenged that assertion, then says they actually have, then says he doesn’t care if it’s true or not.

32. “But Greg is smart. And by the way, never wrestle him. You understand that? Never. Any guy that can do a body slam, he’s my kind of … he was my guy.

Rep.Greg Gianforte pleaded guilty to assaulting a reporter who was asking him questions. HA HA HA HA. Wait, what the actual hell?

33. “But I’ve done so many campaign — I’m so far ahead. But — but we’ve started the wall. And it’s moving. And we’re going to get it, but get me some Republican votes, please.”

One order of world salad, please.

34. “He’s — now, it’s hard for a Republican to win in California, because it’s become, like, crazy. But all of a sudden are Republicans making big progress. It’s going to be very interesting to see what happens in that race.”

Trump is talking here about the California governor’s race. A Los Angeles Times poll that came out two days ago showed Democrat Gavin Newsom with a 23-point lead over Republican John Cox. So….

35. “Justice Kavanaugh, number one in his class at Yale”

Yale doesn’t have class rank.

36. “And in the case especially of Justice Kavanaugh, the lies that were made up, the stories that came out, and he didn’t — he honestly — I’m pretty good at this stuff — he honestly never heard of this stuff. He never heard of it. It was a big con job. You’ve heard me say that. It was a con job.”

Remember that Trump initially said that Christine Blasey Ford, who accused Kavanaugh of sexually assaulting her when they were both teenagers, deserved to be treated with respect and have her story told. Now, of course, he believes her to be part of some sort of secret Democratic plot to oust Kavanaugh. The evidence for this claim? There is none.

37. “Remember? Remember Jon Lovitz, the liar, remember Jon Lovitz? Yeah, yeah, I’m a businessman, that’s right. I went to — yeah, yeah, I went to Harvard. Yeah, that’s right. I went to Harvard. I’m a businessman. That was, like, a female version of Jon Lovitz.

I DO appreciate Trump’s reference to a 1980s “Saturday Night Live” sketch in which Lovitz played Tommy Flanagan aka the Pathological Liar. I’m not sure a man who has said more than 5,000 false or misleading claims in his first 601 days in office should be evoking a pathological liar.

38. “Remember, he challenged me to a fight, and that was fine. And when I said he wouldn’t last long, he’d be down faster than Greg would take him down.”

The President of the United States saying he would punch out the former vice president of the United State faster than a member of Congress assaulted a reporter. All totally normal stuff here!

39. “He’d be down so fast. Remember? Faster than Greg. I’d have to go very fast. I’d have to immediately connect.”

“I will be so presidential, you will be so bored.” —Donald Trump

40. “He’s a handsome, wonderful father.”

41. “A little bit like Justice Kavanaugh, you know, really a very fine, high-quality, handsome guy.”

Two descriptions of former White House physician Ronny Jackson in which Trump says he is “handsome.” This is yet more evidence of how much focus Trump puts on whether people look the part. He views hiring for his administration as casting — and you have to look good to make it on the Trump Show.

42. “I came up with the name Pocahontas, and they once said you must apologize for that. I said, why? Well, it’s not nice what you’re doing. I said, OK, I’d like to apologize to the real Pocahontas.”

Classic Trump. Deriding Elizabeth Warren by referring to her as a famous Native American woman isn’t his problem, it’s the problem of the political correctness police.

43. “By the way, they keep saying, will he do well with women? Remember last time? They said the same thing. We did — we did very well with women. I think I probably won because of women, I hate to tell you, men.”

He got 41% of women’s votes. So, he definitively did not win because of women.

44. “Do you know that we have the hottest economy, as big as we are? We were going down. We have the hottest economy on Earth. People are moving back in.”

Economy! So hot right now!

45. “Because we are American and our hearts bleed red, white, and blue. You know that.”

You know it. Admit it.